It’s almost time, but not yet!

While I sit and write this I have peaceful ocean music playing in the background and it’s windy and cold outside. The fireplace is on and I hear only the sound of my fingers tapping away the keys and sipping my coffee. I type then I backspace…delete…type again…hmm, wondering what I was going to write about and then it hit me. Michael.

Michael is our first-born, already taller than me, and will be 13 soon…way too soon. Does he remember when he was little all the times we sat together and just made each other laugh? Or when he was 3 and needed extra comfort while battling an ear infection and the only thing that would comfort him was my hand firmly pressed against his ear? Or when he was 7 and was awakened by a nightmare where a witch came out of his wall and pulled him in? YIKES! Or the image I captured after his brother was born of him feeding him a tiny bottle at the hospital and stroking his hair? Flashes of time that once were remaining in pictures and video and feelings of those times gone by slowly fade away. Michael holds onto those memories in his mind and heart as best he can. He is kind. He is smart. He will always love the Red Sox, The Patriots, and Macaroni and Cheese. Enjoy listening to music, playing games and spending time with his family. I am thankful.

He confides in me…now that is. Almost every night when it’s time to head upstairs and get “jammies” on, he calls me from upstairs and the words “Mom can I talk to you?” trickle down the stairs. I start up the stairs, wondering, take my usual seat on his desk chair and wait for the question or discussion that is coming my way. I listen. I think. I answer. I am not judgmental.

I have been told that there will come a time soon when sons naturally pull away from their mothers and focus on “Dad” more during the early teen years. I am ready for that, not really, but as my father says, “He will be back, they always come back.” So I will wait. As long as parents give their children unconditional love and the tools they need for living in a changing society they will hopefully use those tools and make wise decisions, show compassion, and enter the world of adulthood, confident with the feeling of independence. I am hopeful.

Teach children at an early age respect and how to do things for themselves and by themselves. They will be grown ups someday! We’ve found that it is imperative to allow them to mess up and learn from their mistakes. Let then figure things out, on their own. Michael has many responsibilities here at home and at school and it is hard not to check up on him and make sure all of what he needs to do is getting done. It’s also hard for me not to chime in to remind him about certain things, but if I do that each time, how will he learn? I take another step back, let out the reigns a little more. Allow him to fail, not in school but in life. He needs to know how it feels not to always win or not always have the feeling of being invincible. We as moms (and dads) will always feel the need to protect our children, shield them, but don’t smother them. How will they learn? I am optimistic.

“It’s almost time, but not yet,” I keep telling myself. When will the day come when Michael won’t want to take pictures with me or confide in me? Will he want to ask questions or be curious? Will he always want to go with me to the store? Will he want to make silly faces and be goofy when he is 15? I don’t know. I just have to wait and see.

I am a mom letting the reigns out a little ore each day holding my breath. I am confident.

By: Susan Milk Grady