A Cafe Called “We Meet Again”

A few weeks ago we met again. It all happened so suddenly, just pushed into each other’s lives, maybe this time for another go? It felt like years since I tasted you last. The way it happened was just so perfect, the temperature, the combination of deep, earthy aromas, sweetness and cream. It was as if I was experiencing you for the very first time. Experiencing anything for the very first time. I knew in this moment I would be hooked and have to start from the drawing board of our relationship to distract myself from you once more. For my own good. For my health, for my nervous system, for my focus and abilities. When you are in my life all I can think about is our next meeting. I go to bed obsessing of how we will meet in the morning. I spend the day practically praying for a dip in my mood because I know that as soon as I get to have you, it will be an all time high.

It’s been year since I have drank coffee regularly. At one point in my life it would make me so ill, I began getting car sickness and motion sickness. I was a nervous wreck, and my usual cup o’ joe would make it so much worse. At this time I decided it best to give up this sacred ritual I had come to know and love all my life. This special drink that is a family tradition, possibly the only thing that actually bonds us all. Yes, it is a hot cup of coffee that’s the one topic that each of my family  member’s can agree on. It wakes us up, it comforts us, it soothes a tummy ache, and cures anything that’s ailin’ us. It’s with us on holidays, during sad times, great times, ball games, bus stops and at our kitchen tables when we (used to) gather for a chat. We always know to put a pot on when company comes over, and it is inevitable that we order a cup after a big meal or with our dessert. We take it to go, put a little booze in it on special occasions, swap different flavors and can always tell when someone has served us decaf instead.  How can I ever go home if I don’t drink coffee? What will I do when I am offered a cup?

How can I go the rest of my life drinking herbal tea? Recently I was offered one of my life’s greatest cups of coffee and joyfully drank it. Following I proceeded to have great conversation, fueled and focused and pepped by the delicious, hot, legendary elixir. A few days later I went for a cup with a friend. A week later – another espresso rendezvous. A few days after that I bought a cup by myself, all by myself. And then the next day, and the next…

For about 2 weeks now, I have had coffee just about every single day. The instant gratification is illustrious, still. Always will be,  I suspect, unless of course its a bad cup. And this does happen sometimes because I usually take mine with 3 drops of stevia and half a cup of warm almond milk OR steamed soy milk, in which case no sweetener is needed. As you can imagine, this gets easily screwed up when eating out, so at times its easy to resist because a bad cup of coffee can just ruin your day.

Now that I have been back on the java train, I begin to feel its negative affects creep in again. As I described with no embellishment, I am being totally honest: I have been obsessed with the magic of coffee. Once again, enraptured by it. I can’t get enough and just for the nights when I have trouble sleeping, I have created this ultra-sacred ritual of exactly when the best cup will take place. Some days I feel  I am back at old terrible habits, going the whole day with out even drinking any water at all. What was giving me this sensual, familiar, comforting experience a few weeks ago is now robbing my body of hydration and sending me swinging into moods I haven’t seen in a long time. Moods in which never seeing again would be too soon.

So instead of my typical “all or nothing “ approach I decide to relax. I take it easy and commit to not taking this affair so seriously. I realize that it’s all about making a choice. If I decide I am the type of woman who cannot survive without the ritual of drinking coffee every day but with some negative consequences which accompany it, then that, my friends, is who I will be. But if I decide that I can enjoy an occasional cup of “Cafe Latte con leche de soja sin azucar, alto” without needing it every day and allowing myself to rejoice in this mystical antique journey of my generations…then so be it and so it certainly is.

By: Sam Bonnano

 

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