Baby Boomer or Baby Bummer?

Are you a baby boomer?  Are you desperately clicking your remote control trying to find the reruns of our parents fifties?  Didn’t they call it the Golden Years?  The years when all they were thinking about was retirement and playing with their grandchildren.  Yeah….that channel.  I’m still looking but I just can’t seem to find it. It seems to have been replaced with shows about who has the most cellulite in Hollywood and who has the best and biggest ass.  You know, the really important stuff that’s happening in the world that we all need to know about. I don’t usually swear in my posts but a friend of mine refers to this time in our lives as the F%@k You Fifties. Brilliant.  Oh and by the way, if you can’t relate to that name do me a favor. Rename your dog Denial and go take it for a walk.  I’m talking to the people parked next to me in that parking lot called mid life.  You know the lot.  It’s the one they put up when they decided to pave paradise.  When did this happen and are we the ones responsible?  I don’t think so.

How many parents gave everything to their kids as soon as they were old enough to ask for stuff.  I don’t mean love, hugs, pride and compassion.  I mean laptops, iphones, and cars.  How many of you now are paying for their therapy because they blame their problems on their parents for “giving them too much”?  How many of you are trying to downsize to save money and can’t sell your house?  Are your kids freaking out that you are selling the family home because they won’t be able to visit on the random holidays?  Are you feeling guilty?  Are you also taking care of your elderly parents and trying to figure out how to pay for an assisted living facility that costs more than the country club you refuse to give up?  How many of you need to go back to work in your fifties to recoup the retirement money you lost when the market tanked?  Are you having trouble finding the “want ads” in the newspaper or a “headhunter” in the yellow pages?  Are you finally realizing this stuff doesn’t exist anymore? Now you’re all stressed out right? Problem solved.  Just get an iphone and ask Siri what to do.. She seems to hold all the answers to life’s questions these days.  And please somebody get me a map.  I don’t trust the gps anymore because this is not the road I chose for chapter 2 of my life. Why isn’t it telling me to take a U-turn yet?  What’s a girl to do?  I imagine you call one of the doctors you have on speed dial on the phone you just learned how to use that’s already become an archaic device?  God forbid you have a phone that doesn’t have an app that tells you how to blink.  And by the way, when did my doctors’ names replace my old life on speed dial?

My travel agent (do they exist anymore?) has been replaced with my G P. which doesn’t really matter because I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. My colorist has been replaced by my cardiologist, my manicurist has been replaced by my opthamologist, my favorite restaurant has been replaced by my dentist and the worst part is my botox girl has been replaced by my orthopedic surgeon. My wrinkle eraser shots have been replaced with cortisone shots.  I used to go to bed late and wake up late and now I go to bed early and wake up early.  Once in a while my girlfriends and I get the energy to say “Let’s go out to a club tonight and dance like we used to!!!”   Of course we never actually do it and I’m grateful because I hear they have height lines now at the cool clubs and I would never make it through the door.  Sure I could put on a pair of serious high heels and try but I have better things to do.  I’d rather sit on the phone and gab with my kids or take my dog for a walk in the park and sit on a bench with my husband and share a hot dog.

I don’t have a therapist on my speed dial I have my best friends on it instead.  We are all going through some crazy stuff in our fifties and we talk and cry and laugh about it all every single day.  That’s what keeps us all sane.  Whether its money, family, jobs, kids, parents, illness or divorce we are all there for each other. For anyone out there that is dealing with some of this or all of it at the same time just know that “This too shall pass” and please try to laugh at least once a day for your own sanity. For anyone that isn’t dealing with any of this stuff please let me know which channel you are on in life because I just put new batteries in my remote and I’m not afraid to use it.

p.s..

I’m also looking for Lassie, Mayberry RFD, American Bandstand, the Newlywed Game and the Mary Tyler Moore Show.  Do I want to live in the past?  No.  I just want some peace and quiet moving into the future.

The world has become much too loud and is moving much too fast if you ask me. But who cares about what I have to say. I’m just a baby boomer who is bumming out.  This too shall pass.  🙂

By: Anita Devlin

 

Comments

  1. Steven Hillyer says:

    awesome…

  2. karennouri says:

    Anita, I am channel surfing. Surfing life is what I seem to be doing, still looking to Hang 10 in the Ocean of all Oceans, which can leave me a bit lost, but never sea sick, and have got about 6 piglets on the board now. When I get all 10 up, I’m sure I’ll wipe out, but then I’ll be using my potential of what i’ve been given, and then the rest s is balancing through the oft stormy but magnificent seas that I have no control of, as I realize I have only control over me.

  3. This is a good one! Keep it up :))

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