Weighty Subjects

110612A-060bigMy weight has fluctuated up and down between 5-20 pounds most of my life.  I stand at 5’7 and not even sure of what I weigh, but it is likely in the 125-130 range.  I’ve never been medically overweight, but I used to be one of those people who obsessed about everything I put in my mouth, and didn’t like feeling an extra 5 pounds on my frame.  Even though I worked out, I never had a rock hard muscle body, more long and sinewy, like ‘Olive Oil’, but with wide hips and an arse. (My first ObGyn told me that my hips were wide great for birthing.  Except, at 45 years of age, I still haven’t birthed.)  And if I gained weight, noticeably the hips and arse grew on my Olive Oil-like frame.  I saw how outward appearances were interpreted differently and judged, but that didn’t bother me as much as how I felt in my own skin.

So it went sorta like this over a 15 year period: “No Fat” phase, Weight Watchers, Sugar Addiction, Weight Watchers again & a “Low Fat” phase, The Atkins Diet stint, then a Lo Carb phase, and finally, to Mindful Eating.  Mostly my reasons for overeating were changes in environment of lifestyle-college, moving to New York City- but there were also times that I gained weight because of hormonal changes, almost every 7 years from the age of 30.  I later realized that my body chemistry was affected by many things, not just my age, hormonal cycles, or the chemical-laden food I put into my mouth, but by my thoughts and brain, shooting out chemicals reflecting my worry, fear, pain or depression, and also by the energy of other beings and people around me.

Awhile back, during the winter period, I started eating more chocolate at night. I was depressed about the relationships that kept disappointing and decided not to go out, not to date, but to be with myself, in my apartment, doing various things: re-writing the manuscript, reading, watching foreign films and documentaries, cooking, listening to music or attending to my seemingly always messy apartment, and eating chocolate.  Between the hours of 9 pm and 2 am, those half a dozen or so dusted truffles tasted oh-so-good, which of course, elevated my feel-good chemicals, albeit temporarily.  In the aftermath, about 6 months in, I discovered at the doctor’s office that I had gained 12 pounds and none of my summer clothes fit! And when I tried to get it off, with diet and exercise, my weight merely dropped 3 or 4 pounds in months.

Randomly, I’d been advised by my astrologist that ‘Saturn was also sitting on my Sun sign’, which I found out is like having a weight on my energy.  The period that Saturn sat on my Sun coincided with my weight gain, nearly exactly a 10 month period, much to my surprise, and also a heavy reflective state of my life.   And as soon as Saturn moved off my Sun, and the heavy introspective period subsided, the pounds started to melt off, even though I’d been eating healthfully for months prior, my mood elevated (sans chocolate), and my writing became more fluid, like a stream, as well.

What I am beginning to realize is that there are cycles of all sorts which affect us, and it is not just the food we eat that makes us gain weight or lose weight.  We are energy beings, affected by the chemical energy of things we ingest, by the energy of the solar, lunar and planetary cycles, the energy of the seasons, and the energy of people and things around us.  When energy is in balance, the body-organism and its systems are in balance-the respiratory, nervous, endocrine, metabolic and cardiovascular, to name a few.  But, when not in balance, we seem to think food is the only way to bring it back to normalcy on the scales.

Maintaining ideal body weight is so individual, with many complex factors affecting our energy, but if I start to pay attention to my food as energy, the sun as energy, the moon as energy, my thoughts as energy, people as energy, beings as energy, I recognize the weight of their energy within me, and if they balance or imbalance my weight. From that recognition, or awareness, my decisions, behaviors and choices about what I put in or around my body and mind transforms, and so does my body-chemistry.  It is in this space that I can begin to achieve balance-of my matter, of my energy, of my weight in the world, without the weight of the world on me.

Your thoughts?

By: Karen Nourizadeh


  1. love your dog.

  2. David Perry says:

    I used to obsess that I was too skinny. As I matured I realized that I was the only one worrying about how skinny I was. That led me to let go of the obsession. Maybe it’s the realization that this is who I am and now I actually like who I am. Since I have been an active yogi, going on average 4 days a week for two years+, I noticed that my shoulders and chest have gotten bigger and my core is stronger. This is who I am today, but it doesn’t define who I am.

    Karen, i have been in your class and I would never describe you as an Olive Oil like frame because of the definition in your arms and legs. But I do understand what you are trying to say. A more accurate reference for me might be Bat Girl (While we are keeping with the comic book theme) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Yvonne_Craig_Batgirl.jpg

    • karennouri says:

      Hey Dave, thanks for sharing your thoughts, and you are so right that your body does not define you!! Well-put! And much prefer Bat Girl over Olive Oil Thanks!

  3. “Maintaining ideal body weight is so individual, with many complex factors….” Amen! Thanks for writing so openly about things that people are often afraid to be honest about. (To anyone who liked reading Karen’s post here, follow your heart to her facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/karennourizadehfollowyourheart )

    • karennouri says:

      You’re welcome Odile! It’s good to have the feedback from you, and grateful for your support as well!! xoxo

  4. We live in a society that is obsessed with being thin and skinny without any awareness of the mind body connection! What we believe about our bodies is what it will be or not be. Thanks Karen for clarity.

  5. karennouri says:

    Your Welcome Janet, our society is one of materialism and attaining beautiful things which influence many, and difficult to keep a healthy perspective. super difficult.

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